Pinching myself.

Summer’s grand.

It’s taken me awhile to believe that it’s really here, but I think I’ve finally come to terms with it.  Staying in bed until ten this morning helped a lot.

The month of April was a whirlwind of classes, work, teaching, exams, and the dread that always accompanies the end of a semester because I tend to make really mediocre grades and feel awful about it.  But I knew that my finals would all be over on May 6th and I’d be leaving for Haiti on the 10th.  So for all of April and the beginning of May, I stressed and fretted and skipped sleep and didn’t blog and ate lots of unhealthy food and comforted myself with the thought, “If I can just make it to Haiti—if I can just get on the airplane and watch the door shut behind me, I’ll know I’ve survived this semester.”

Well I made it to Haiti and back again.  I got on seven airplanes and watched seven doors shut behind me.  So I must have survived.  I don’t even feel that post-school-year dread, because for the first time since middle school (pathetic, I know), I made all A’s and B’s this semester.

I keep having mini panic attacks and then realizing that finals are over.  It blows my mind to think that I’m not slacking; I just really don’t have any papers to write.  Sometimes it’s hard for me to just receive a good thing.  Psychology buffs, go ahead and have a field day with that.  You know you’re going to.  But I doubt I’m the only one who pinches themselves when something good happens.

Granted, I still have a wedding to be in less than three weeks from now and a bachelorette party to make happen between now and then.  I haven’t even started the blanket I’m crocheting for my cousin’s baby boy who will be arriving in less than a month.  I opened up my availability at work to 40 hours a week.  There are letters that need writing so I can raise money for a new roof on one of the schools I visited in Haiti.  And as thrilled as I am about my grades this past semester, I can’t continue the trend if I don’t get around to signing up for Fall classes.  So it’s not as if I’m completely carefree until August.  There are still demands for my time.

But I slept until ten this morning.  I have a tan.  I’m wearing shorts.  My bedroom window’s open and I can hear the purr of a lawnmower drifting in on the breeze.  I think my arms are bruised enough.  No more pinching myself.  It must be Summer.


About leahrayanne

Autumn. Long conversations. Tea. People. Undisturbed land. Cooking. Literature. Teaching. Learning. Hiking. Travel. Laughter. Things built to last. Love. Home.
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7 Responses to Pinching myself.

  1. Sally Agler says:

    yes, Leah – stop pinching yourself!!
    For years I had a recurring nightmare (more often during times of stress) that was so disturbing….”it’s the last day of ‘drop and add’ and I’m feeling pretty happy with myself because I haven’t missed any classes. Then I look over my semester schedule and discover a class that I didn’t even know I had signed up for… so of course I’m flunking the class. That is when I start running all over campus looking for the professor who has to sign my paperwork so I can drop the class.” (that is usually when I wake up and pinch myself to make sure it was just a BAD dream!!)
    Have a great summer, Leah! I never see you at work any more!! 😦
    love ya, sally

    • leahrayanne says:

      Oh my gosh, Sally! That’s such a terrible dream!! I’m so glad I’ve never had that one. I think it’s going to be a really good summer. And with any luck, I’ll start seeing you at work again since I just opened up my availability!! And as usual, thanks for reading my little blog!

  2. William says:

    I still dream about failing a class right before I was supposed to graduate college. I was, indeed, in danger of failing a class that might have kept me from graduating, but I passed by a hair for (what I believe) to be the fact that I told my professor that if I didn’t pass I would not graduate. In the end I got a horrible grade, but walked the aisle and grabbed my diploma. (There’s a story there as well, but I digress. . .) Either way, fight the good fight, Rayanne, and fight for what is good and right. Everything else is just window dressing. . . Much love!

    • leahrayanne says:

      Thanks William. As usual, you were able to make me laugh and think all in one go. You’re good at that, you know? And of course I’d like to hear the rest of that story…

  3. Ponikaa Girl says:

    A letter to help raise money for a roof at a school in Haiti? If you post it, let me know. I’d be happy to help pass it along. Your first two sentences (oops, didn’t even see the one about summer) grabbed my attention and kept me reading. Delightful and clever closing. An entertaining read!

    • leahrayanne says:

      Thank you so much for stopping by my blog, Ponikaa Girl! And I most definitely will let you know when I post it. I’m hoping it will be in the next week sometime. Thanks again for reading, and come back soon!!

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